FORGETFUL GENTLEMAN [fer-get-fuhl jen-tl-muhn] n. a classy, sophisticated, modern man whose busy lifestyle often interferes with his well intentioned plans

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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Good Guys Gone Good

Rihanna made tens of millions of dollars, won a Grammy award, and embarked on a two year international tour under the slogan “Good Girl Gone Bad.” Why is the bad girl/boy image so fascinating? After decades of the bad boys setting the rules as to what’s cool, times are changing.

Brooke Miller at Primer Magazine recently wrote an article entitled The Modern Day Bad Boy: Introducing The Good Guy. Ms. Miller’s premise is that historically “bad boys” have made a different set of rules that have gone against the prevailing status quo. A combination of fearlessness and a “we make our own rules” leadership makes “bad boys” attractive. Think James Dean, Eminem, Pete Doherty, P Diddy, Russell Crowe or Colin Farrell to name a few.

Ms. Miller’s solution is to have “good guys” break the bad boys’ rules. This allows “good guys” to exhibit the same fearlessness and leadership that has worked for bad boys for so long without “good guys” having to break the rules that they normally abide by. Sounds easy enough.

What a forgetful gentleman likes about Ms. Miller’s article is two-fold:

1) She suggests that a man acting consistent to his character is the right way to go.

2) Building awareness of many of the social customs swirling around us allows men to improve the quality of interactions with people.

So go out and break some of the “bad boy” rules rather than your own…or just wait until your late 20’s when women start appreciating the consistency and selflessness of the modern day gentleman.


  1. Thank you for sharing the article, and I'm glad you liked Brooke's ideas. She's pretty good. :)

  2. Thank you for pointing out Ms. Miller's post on Good Guys. The fascination with the bad boy/girl will probably continue to for awhile. I think you hit on something in the last portion of your comments. Well into a persons twenty's and dare I say in some cases thirty's both men and women are attracted to the "darkside" and "mystery" of the bad boy/girl. But lets get one thing clear, the "Good Guy" is by no means boring (a misconception that I hopefully can dispel) they are however are considered responsible which can be mistaken for a lack of spontaneity. Here in lies the predicament for the "Good Guy", how to maintain the great initial qualities that make him great for long term relationship or marriage material, without being considered boring and without a backbone.
    A Man needs to be balanced. Unpredictable but dependable. It has to be Genuine, a character that most "Good Guys" possess. All in all when men listen, observe, and react to the needs of women (without being coerced) you can bet that you will be first thing she thinks about when she's wanting company. James Dean? Meh.who need him when she's got her hero.